HANK HILL (Drinks can of Lonestar beer, and adjusts his shirt, back round is Strickland Propane)


BARNEY STINSOOOOON (Barney tips a shot glass torwards the screen, and winks, Backround is Maclaren's Bar.)



Boy, you'd best leave now, before you bring out my inner rage,

Or better yet stay here and let me give you some tips on how to behave.

Your like Boomhaur, except you don't have good manners at all

Stop toying with women, shut up and settle down like your buddy Marshall.

You shouldn't wear a suit going against me, Swarley, I'm not afraid to fight dirty

If I catch you near my wife acting flirty, I'll kick your ass again, yeah, you heard me.

My name is Hank Hill, don't forget it, I sell Propane and Propane Accessories,

And teaching you some respect by kicking your ass will be Legen -wait for it- Dary!


Dude don't even try to steal MY catchphrase it's not gonna work,

No matter how much you wanna be me you'll never be more than a little jerk,

Now, SUIT UP your rhymes: Show some class, show some dignity, show ANYTHING witty,

The king of the hillbillies will look silly when I end up in bed with yo' Tilly

BOY! I'm the depicament of awesome and I'll blossom my true skill,

'cause I'm a boss an' I'll be tossin' this old four eyes over the hill,

I'll send you to bed, even Ted knows I don't take kindly to Swarley,

From some totally dead dread inbred who should have fled at "begin". You got me?


Dammit boy, the music Bobby listens to had talent compared to that!

Listening to that rap felt like utter crap, because you are scat, it's a fact!

You can't compare to me, so go on, get! Walk away in your utter shame,

Because Hank here is burning you and grilling you up with some pro-Pain!

You're a loser! You're dirt! You should feel sorry for what you've done to girls,

When I read your blog on the internet it made me just want to run and hurl!

You are a pitiful ass, you belong in the trash, you are losing REAL damn fast,

Compared to you Bill's got class, and to top it of: I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!


I AM BARNEY STINSTON! For your lack of respect you will pay,

You will regret the day you challenged me to a battle of wits,

You gave me the win anyway so now you can kiss my grits,

I get all the Sex and I'd get your wife's TITS! (explosion)

A man who needs no introduction but you gave me one anyway,

Get back to your alleyway and drink beer with your fellow gays,

I'll explode your ass skyward with your OWN propane,

You've got no game so head back to your retard family in shame,




Who won?

The poll was created at 21:31 on May 10, 2013, and so far 8 people voted.